#Feelthebern (but not the supporters!)

I’ve not made it a secret that I’m a Bernie supporter #feelthebern. But my gosh I can’t say that I’m a Bernie supporter supporter. (Dear friends and relatives excluded of course. It’s the FB & commenter masses I’m referring to here).
Bernie has made it CLEAR that he wants to keep things as upstanding and civil as possible in the political arena. He calls Hilary Clinton Secretary of State, so Secretary Clinton. He shows her the respect she deserves. He doesn’t do any crazy name calling (like other candidates I could name…)
Let me make this clear, There is NO NAME CALLING. OMFG I can’t STAND the name calling! On the progressive side OR the conservative side. It is disgusting and appalls me that human being do that to each other. I’m fine with disagreeing but name calling? I mean come ON how OLD are you??? Bernie supporters calling Secretary Clinton $hilary? Really? Would Senator Sanders do that? If you profess to believe in his ideals, how can you possibly do that?? Obummer? Drumpf? (I admit I fell for that one, but it made me feel bad when I did it) Libtard? Republc**t? NO NO NO NO NO. >.<
And the horrific vitriol I’ve seen in comments sections between democrats when it’s Senator Sanders vs Secretary Clinton. There are some civil discussions but many devolve VERY quickly and there is a not insignificant number of those that are Bernie supporters starting things and stoking the fire. (Yes, plenty from the Clinton camp as well, I fully admit that.) I am appalled. I’m not ashamed to be a Bernie supporter, but I am NOT one of those types and NOT like that. I am FOR HIS ideals, certainly not for his supporters’ ideals. Not when they behave so appallingly. What is going ON! I expect that from Trump supporters (he seems to glory in it), but Bernie is a different kind of candidate. I thought people liked him BECAUSE of that. What is going on?? I am horrified and appalled and so incredibly disappointed in the human race sometimes. At least the progressives anyway. I thought better of them, I thought they shared my ideals. What happened to communication and discourse? What happened to listening? Why is it always my way or the highway? Of course I want my candidate to win, but if he doesn’t, then I will do what i can to make sure his ideals don’t get lost (which means we will need a progressive in the White House.)
When I see this hot mess going on I just want to yell STOP STOP STOP, this is not what Bernie stands for! Debate is fine, but debate the facts in a civil manner! No name calling, no swearing or threatening (threatening, really? REALLY? GRRRRR). Post the facts and your civil take on them and let the real things speak for themselves. Don’t call people names or disrespect the candidates (especially if you are trying to convince people that your side is right). Sure I’m not a fan of Secretary Clinton, but I’m not going to call her names or diss her. And whoever becomes my president will have my respect as my president. GROW UP America! This is the political system you let yourself get, it is going to take a grass roots movement and people paying attention at the LOCAL levels to change it.
I know I am trying to learn more about what is going on locally so as that moves up the chain, my views and ideals or more represented. I’m just lucky I live in a blue state.
Okay there is my rant for 3:00am. This has been rattling around in my head for weeks (well before the whole Nevada thing) and it sometimes keeps me up at night, so I had to write it all out. I’m impressed if you read it all, but i certainly don’t expect you to, lol. Just mostly doing it for myself.
Have a good night all! To those that got this far anyway, hehe. (Although probably day by the time you read it, lol).
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Health issues part 4

Posted on Facebook February 14th, 2016.

Here’s another long post attempting to catch folks up on my health stuff. Feel free to skip cause it’s probably very boring, lol. But I do know that some of you are interested. And I love you for it! ❤ (And I seriously do NOT blame those of you who aren’t. I promise!)

(Bah I wrote this in google docs and FB stripped all of my formatting. Boooo)

I started working full time again (off disability) the end of December. And then there was a 2 week break for the holidays. So really I started January 4th. And it has been hard. Harder than I thought it would be. The days are so long and by the end of the week I am in so much pain. I’m slowly getting used to it but it was horrible at first. 😦 For everyone who suffers from chronic pain, my heart is with you. omg. Ugh. Anyway With PT I do every morning, working 8.5 hours & then getting home to do normal family household chores & dinner (thank goodness for Dream Dinners!!) there is just no time for much of anything else. And I just can’t be on my computer, it hurts too much (I’ll explain that more further down.) But I MISS you all so much. SO much it hurts. I think about my friends and family on here and I tear up. I hope you know you’re in my thoughts. I miss my Twitter friends too. But it’s hard to say all this in 140 characters and lots of those friends are not on FB, so I don’t know how I’m going to reach them. Anyway I’m getting way off topic here, lol. Just know I miss you like CRAZY and think about you all the time.

So I’ve been away from my home computer for weeks now. I had such a big setback musculoskeletal-wise about 3 weeks ago now and I was so scared. Scared it was all starting over again. The pain, the hardly able to move. The pain.

I started having a bad pain in my back. In my right shoulder blade. Not a horrible sharp stabbing pain, but a very painful constant ache. Even pain meds barely touched it and the PT that I do every day didn’t help at all. It started getting real bad on a Friday and the next Tuesday I had an appointment with my orthopedic surgeon so I held on until then. But that weekend was hard. Hard and scary and hurty.

That appointment was to check on my shoulders (with the rotator cuff tear in the one and the whatever-issue in the other) and see how the cortisone shots were going. Just before then I was looking forward to the appointment to tell the Dr how pleased I was at how well my shoulders were doing. After that I couldn’t wait to see him and desperately hope he could do or tell me something, anything about what was wrong with me. So we met and he was pleased with how well the shots were doing (as much as he could tell with the pain in my shoulder blade being so overwhelming and me so frightened) and then looked at my back. He said I was having a back spasm in that muscle. And wrote me a extra Rx/Referral for an additional type of PT to what I’m already doing. And as much as that sucks to have a back spasm, I was so relieved that there was an explanation. Lots of people have those and those can be fixed. It didn’t help fix it right then, but at least I had a name for what was wrong and that took away much of the fear.

So I had a PT appointment that Friday so I only had to wait a few days to see her & hopefully have her help with this new issue. (/sigh at something else wrong. Ugh). And in the meantime I took a long hard look at my work station. I knew it wasn’t anything I was doing at home because I haven’t been doing anything at home. And my work station recently got changed to a sit/stand station which was supposed to help. So I started really paying close attention. And I noticed that when I’m sitting, and have my monitors at the correct height for my neck, my arms are too high. so when I adjust for where my arms need to be, my neck is looking down, which is bad for the neck issues I have. Gah! And for those of you that don’t know what a sit/stand station is, the monitor and keyboard are attached. They move up and down as one unit so they cannot be separated. There is some room for adjustment of the monitor, but I had already had it as high as it could go. When I am standing, the difference is worse. 😦  I told Don about it and he came to my desk with a measuring tape to measure the difference to see if maybe there was something he could do. When I’m sitting, the distance is over 8 inches off and when I’m standing it’s 10 inches off. That is not a little bit!! I’m not built for corporate america! 😛

By this time it was Friday so I had my PT appointment and my therapist worked hard to unknot me and give me the right exercises to fix the weakened muscle (she’s the best). So new exercises. Yay. (Can you feel my sarcasm? lol.)

I’m finally feeling better. Almost at my new my new normal, which is always a low level of pain that gets worse throughout the week and works on fading over the weekend. Long weekends help, but the pain is always there. 😦 Who knew that this would happen at only 46. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it and not be mad about it all the time. But I suppose that’s for therapy (and not the physical type, lol). At least I’m not as low and depressed and lost as I was. I’m grateful I’m out of that deep, dark hole. /shudder. That was awful. My sense of humor and empathy and positivity is back. Probably less strong than it was, but at least it is back! I mentioned in one of the comments on Facebook that I try not to feel too sorry for myself, but I also give myself permission to be mad on occasion because this totally sucks! So after I dwell and whine for awhile I get myself out of it and move on and then I can function again for awhile. It’s a cycle for now, heh.

Oh, I forgot to mention how I’m going to get relief at work! I spoke to my boss right away once I figured out what the problem most likely was and she said they have a “tall person kit” for the sit/stand workstations and she ordered one asap. It should be in next week. That will make a huge difference I’m sure. I seriously have the best boss ever. She is doing everything she can to help and I am beyond grateful for her.

As for home, Don is doing his best to come up with different configurations of how I can move stuff around on my home desk so I am comfortable and my arms aren’t too extended or are too high. My desk isn’t adjustable but we put an adjustable stand under my desk and lowered my chair (and took off the arms) and so we’re seeing if that will help. I also might have to just get a whole different desk. Ugh what a HUGE PAIN IN THE ASS!! I tell ya, it’s hard not to QQ moar and ask why me all the damn time.

Speaking of Don, he is just absolutely THE BEST! I am such a physical mess and I can’t do anything. I can’t lift over 10lbs, I can’t walk on uneven surfaces cause I can’t look down, I can’t drive too far away cause it kills my neck, I can’t take the stairs very often cause looking down; I can’t do much of anything so he has to take up the slack. He does all the heavy lifting and brings in all the groceries, even if I’m the one who went to the store. He doesn’t let me lift anything. So I feel pretty much useless around the house, but he makes me feel loved and cherished and tells me over and over that I am doing my best. I have such a good man. ❤

Hmm, I think that about catches everyone up with what’s going on. If you made it this far, I am impressed! Like last time, you get hugs next time I see you if you read all this! ❤

Love you all so much! With us trying new desk configurations I will try to get back on my PC. It’s hard when I’m hurting, but I hope-hope-hope-hope that things will get better!

Much love, many hugs and even some kisses!! ❤

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RIP David Bowie (Part 2 – Grief and closure)

Posted on Facebook February 11th, 2016.

I have been absolutely torturing myself for the last 2+ weeks listening and watching all things David Bowie. All of his amazing (and some puzzling!) music and art and interviews – and I even bought a little black book of quotes. (Had to wait until payday to buy some biographies – which is tomorrow, heh). I’ve been in tears almost every day going to and from work listening to his music. I’ve been in tears AT work listening to interviews. Why didn’t I pay this close attention before he died? Why did I wait until now? Why wasn’t I following his FB page? Why hadn’t I been on his site for the past 20 years? Why don’t I have all his albums memorized because holy cow they are AMAZING! Not just the hits, but almost all of the songs. His vision was absolutely incredible. Normally I don’t have a lot of regrets but man-oh-man this one is getting me. David Bowie meant SO MUCH to me. The music of the 80’s was so very important to me and he’s the one who made it happen. Why didn’t I follow him closer?

So I’m trying to let go of the “why’s” since it’s too late for any of that and just absorbing as much as I can. And I still couldn’t figure out why I was torturing myself so much with it all. And then I had lunch the other day with a dear friend. She loved David Bowie too and was also sad about it. It was amazing to have someone to talk about it with who understood it with me. She told me something that put it all into perspective for me. She said that everyone grieves in their own way. And that even though he was famous, because he was an artist he puts himself out there, so you get a feel for who they are. So you absolutely grieve for them when they are gone. She said it way better than I just did but yeah. This is how I am grieving for the loss of an amazing human being who meant something special to me. And I felt better knowing that. Thank you Sally, you don’t know how much that helped. ❤

Poor Don has been amazing trying to keep up with my crazy moods. He listens to my stories and all the nuggets of information I hear about and race to tell him with good humor though. I have such a great husband. Last week he bought me Labyrinth (I can’t believe we didn’t already own that movie. Although I bet we have it on VHS in a box somewhere come to think of it..) and listened to me as I went on and on about all the little things I was learning about the extras from the Blue Ray. He even saw something on MTV and recorded it for me. 5 Years of David Bowie or something like that.

So I watched it and afterwards they (MTV) played a bunch of his videos, including the last 2 he made (I assume). Lazarus and Blackstar. Whew, talk about closure. Very creepy videos and you can definitely tell he was telling people goodbye. I mean just the title alone. The weird thing is though, all of that gave me a feeling of closure. I’m not quite as obsessed as I was and I’m feeling like I’m able to let go a little bit more. It’s still so sad and I will continue to listen to his music (cause amazing), but I have my own life to live and my own dearly loved loved-ones to love and hold tight. Time to move on I suppose. But what a strange few weeks I’ve had.

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RIP David Bowie (Part 1)

Posted on Facebook January 23rd 2016.

I’ve been meaning to write this post for awhile, but I’ve been working so much (being out on disability was hard cause being hurt sucks, but can’t say that having time to do things sucked, heh) and then I’ve been taking up all my spare time with reading. I haven’t even been logging in to my computer. Crazy weird.

Anyway I wanted to talk about the passing of David Bowie. His passing meant something to me on a personal level. His was the first 80’s music I ever heard.

I grew up in a small town (ie – not trendy, lol) where my folks listened to country western music. And I listened to it too. In fact, I still enjoy that kind of music from that era (70’s & early 80’s) from time to time. Any newer and I don’t like it I’m afraid. Twang, blech.

It was the early 80’s and I had just started high school. I was quiet and shy and nerdy and had no fashion sense or musical taste. (My world was pretty small.) My best friend at the time, however, did. I tried so very hard to be like her. She was beautiful and confident and BOY did she know how to go out and grab what she wanted. The complete opposite of little mousy me at the time, heh. But that is a story for another time. Anyway I remember vividly her calling me on the phone and having me listen to a song. She was SO EXCITED to share it with me and couldn’t wait for me to hear it. So she played it for me over the phone from her record player (I assume it was a 45). The song was “Let’s Dance” by David Bowie. That was my first introduction into 80’s music.

I listened to that song over and over and I was so excited with her. It was WONDERFUL. So DIFFERENT than what I was used to hearing. That song started my love affair with 80’s music which has lasted to this day. 80’s is still my most favorite music genre and it started with David Bowie. And of course I had to find and listen to all of his other music. Ziggy Stardust on up.

When the internet was first born and the World Wide Web was getting its feet under it, David Bowie was right there at the beginning. He had his own site and if you joined it (there was a fee. Not huge but not nothing either), you could have your email address be something like LisaJensen@bowie.com or something like that. Plus a bunch of other cool stuff that I don’t remember anymore. I didn’t sign up for it back then (I think it was the early 2000’s) but I wanted to really bad. I wish I had now of course. He was a visionary. I remember thinking how smart he was for starting that up.

I am so sad that he’s gone. Sad that his creativity and vision is gone. Sad that one of my heroes, the one who leapt me into the decade I was supposed to be in is gone. I’ve been listening to his music on my way to work every morning and I’ve been tearing up every morning too. The passing of a legend and he meant so very much to me. With all the concerts I’ve been so since I became an adult, I can’t believe I never went to a David Bowie one. I’m super bummed I never got to see him live, never got to be in the same place as him for a moment of time.

Rest in peace David Bowie. Your struggle is over. May the heavens be filled with your wonderfully unique sound and maybe we’ll get a chance to hear it in our dreams on occasion.

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Health issues part 3

Posted on Facebook on September 9th, 2015.

Gosh I haven’t updated on what’s going on with me in too long. Oops! So strap in, here we go again. 😛 lol

I saw my Dr the end of August (been seeing her regularly the whole time I’ve been off work) and she saw something in the way I described my pain & how I was using (or not using) my right arm & what she saw when she did her exam this time that triggered her to send me to get another MRI (I’ll get to that in a little bit). I figured eh why not. It will probably be a waste of time and money (and stress since those things are crazy scary!) but how silly would I feel if we missed something, so I figured we might as well. And since I was kinda scared about it, I got something to take for the anxiety and my wonderful husband would drive me. Turns out the day they could schedule me I had a PT appointment too, so my awesome Mom took me to that appointment since I had to take the first dose right before my PT appointment. LOL I am so lucky to be surrounded by wonderful people. ❤

Anyway, all that notwithstanding, my disability time is up and it is time to go back to work. My Dr is amazing and is in touch with all the other people I’ve been working with so the plan is for me to return to work on September 10th (I’ll pause for the rejoicing from my coworkers now, lol) with light duty. I can only work 4 hours a day for awhile (I think it will be 4 weeks or so) and I can’t lift more than, umm, 10 pounds I think? Or push or pull so many pounds either. Luckily most of my job doesn’t have me do too much of that and the short term disability folks worked with my supervisor (all done via HR & legal systems & whatnot) to make sure those limitations can be accommodated and they can, so I go back to work tomorrow. :O

The pain isn’t gone, not by a long shot, but the good news is it is SO MUCH BETTER than it was. My Dr said that I might not ever be pain free anymore, but with all the PT I’ve done and the things I’ve learned I have so many more tools to deal with the pain that I did not have before. So I am going to be way more regimented about how I do things now. I have very specific exercises to do to give my neck a rest and a stretch and I’ve learned a LOT of self discipline to do them while I’ve been off, so I plan on carrying that through to work with me and make sure I keep doing them. I NEVER EVER want to be in that much pain again. Part of the problem was there was no relief from it. Laying down didn’t help, sitting on the couch, standing up, nothing helped! As I said before, I was using the wrong muscles and that exacerbated the problems already there. Now that I’ve retrained my brain to use the right ones, the pain has significantly lessened and now I am working on strengthening them. It is a slow process though. I keep pushing myself, and my body keeps telling me in no uncertain terms to slow down! You haven’t lived until you’ve experienced muscle spasms down your neck and into your shoulder. 😉 I’m also learning about pain (as I mentioned earlier) and reading up on pain management and meditation. All that will help me long term I am sure. So while I get pretty down if I let myself think about it too much, I am glad that it’s better than it was. I still can’t drive very far or for very long and sitting someplace that is not in an office-type chair (like at a restaurant or kitchen table) for over an hour is torture after awhile, but I’m hoping as I get stronger that will go away. I hope so anyway. My son and best friend live in Portland and I HAVE to be able to go up there and my bliss is at the coast and I have to get there too. I’m a slooooow healer so I haven’t given up hope. 🙂

Anyway, I had my MRI a week ago and it went without a hitch. I was medicated so no anxiety there. In fact, I think I dozed off a few times cause I remember twitching myself awake a couple of times. Oops! I still think it was a waste of time, but /shrug oh well at least I wasn’t scared this time, lol.

So I get a call yesterday morning from my doctors office. I was trying to sleep as I hadn’t slept well (see messages about my Dad – <hugs!>) and I looked at my phone in puzzlement wondering why they were calling. I don’t have an appointment until the first of next month, why are they calling? So I answer & they tell me they have my MRI results. Oh yeah, ok what’s up? I have a torn rotator cuff. WHAT?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I was so completely convinced that there was nothing wrong with my shoulder that I was gobsmacked. I’m still stunned. UGH! I go back to work TOMORROW! They tell me I’m to see another Dr & they will be in touch to set up an appointment. So they called later that afternoon and I have an appointment the end of October. GOOD GRIEF! I am so freaking bummed. I’m too young to be falling apart this much. 😦 Sad Lisa is sad. So I’ve been having a major pity party for myself for the last 36 hours. 😛 Why couldn’t this have been caught earlier? Although my physical therapist said many of the exercises we’ve been doing are the same as would be for rotator cuff injuries, so at least there is that. But ugh, there is just too much going on and my brain can’t take any more bad news.

The good stuff is I got all my errands done earlier (I wanted a shiny clean truck for tomorrow, lol. Vain much? Hehe), and my stuff is ready to go for my first day back to work tomorrow. I am really looking forward to seeing everyone. I have missed my friends terribly. So many things will be different I hear, but I know how to find you all! It will be great to catch up on what has been going on.

Once again, if you’ve read all this, I will give you a hug next time I see you! If I won’t see you, then it will have to be a virtual one, lol. Thanks you guys for listening and being here and being so incredibly supportive and loving and amazing and wonderful. It has meant SO VERY MUCH to me! I love you! ❤

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Health issues part 2

Posted on Facebook June 27th 2015.

Something that’s really GOOD that’s been going on is I started doing yoga at the beginning of May (2015)!! My dear friend Michele is a certified yoga instructor (and personal trainer) and has started doing personal (kinda – more a person with a couple of friends) yoga class. She wants to bring yoga to people who don’t think they can do it. And she is amazing! She is an incredible teacher and she sees where my limitations are and has me do just what I can (and shows me modifications if I can’t get into the right position). And lets us know what we are working towards. And she sees it as long term. Like she’ll say “We’re going for this, but that will take probably 6 months to get to, we’re going to start here” and that’s what we do. When I’m done with yoga I don’t feel drained or sapped of energy or wiped out at all. I almost feel energized afterwards. It is so awesome!!

The only bad thing is that since I’ve been struggling with my neck so much is it wasn’t helping my neck at all. Some of the positions were a struggle even. And my Dr said no yoga for now. So I don’t get to do yoga until my neck is all better. Booooo!! I’ve lost almost 20 pounds too (I’ve been laying off the candy and eating much different since my stomach has been so jacked up – which is contributing to weight loss I’m sure, heh). Darn.

But that was supposed to be good news, not more depressing news, lol. I love yoga and am looking forward to when I can do it again. It was really great! And my friend has started up a studio in Corvallis out of a martial arts studio. Her business is called Inner Strength Yoga (From Pose to Poise) and she wants to bring yoga to everyone. I highly recommend!! Inner Strength Yoga

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Health issues Part 1

I am posting stuff that I posted to Facebook to my blog since a lot of my Twitter followers either don’t follow me on Facebook or don’t have Facebook accounts & I want them to know why I haven’t been around much on any social media or games. It’s been a helluva past 9 months so far. 😦

This was posted to FB on June 27th, 2015.

This has the potential to be a looong post, so strap in if you’re going to read it all. 😉 It’s been a long time since I’ve updated folks on what’s been going on and it’s about time I did. I’ll use the medicated to heck and back as my excuse. lol

So last I wrote I had seen a GI Dr and she gave me a medicine to take every day (due to the fact I no longer have a gall bladder) and it has made a huge HUGE difference. I’d say my stomach issues are probably 85% better (although I’m having a bad day today, ugh). Since it’s not all better I’m probably going to have more tests to find out what else might be wrong, but for the moment, I’m happy that things are so much better.

Once I start finally feeling a bit better, I wake up one morning the end of May and I hope in the shower to go to work and my neck (the right side of my neck, shoulder and shoulder blade) starts hurting. The longer I’m up the worse it hurts. I go to work and by the time I get home, serious ouch! When I wake up the next day, I can’t hardly move. I’m able to see my Dr that day and she thought the same thing I did, I’m having a muscle spasm in my neck. So I get pain meds and a muscle relaxer. By this time it’s the weekend so I have the weekend to get better. I take my meds and I’m able to move more by Monday so off to work I go.

My Dr said if I’m not significantly better in a few days that she will want me to see a physical therapist. Since I wasn’t significantly better, but I was a bit better, I called & said if I could be on muscle relaxers and pain meds for another week (PT is spendy and we have enough medical expenses right now & I didn’t want to add to it) and she agreed. So I had an appt for a week later to see how I went.

During that week, I steadily declined. By the time I got home from work, I could barely move or do anything at all. I did everything with my left arm since my right side hurt so much. I decided then that I would do whatever my Dr suggested with regards to PT & whatnot. Clearly this was a bigger issue than I had hoped.

So I see the Dr and tell her what’s going on. She is concerned and talks me in to making a PT appt (I told her I was already on board with whatever she wanted to do since the previous week was such a failure, heh). She takes some xrays of my neck and what she sees concerns her. She says I have what looks to be a compressed disc, or at least a pinched nerve. So she reiterated that I need to do PT and I got prednisone for the swelling (which causes/contributes to a pinched nerve), a pain killer that works specifically on nerves and to continue with the main pain meds (the other one takes awhile to get into your system) and the muscle relaxers. HOLY MOLY the prednisone SUCKS!! Oh the headaches I got every day!! Ouch, ouch, OUCH!! Blinding headache for the 7 days I had to be on it. Yikes! I could barely tell my neck hurt anymore because of the headaches, lol. Luckily it was only 7 days so I kept my “eye on the prize” as my Mom would say. 🙂

Oh and I forgot a crucial part. My Dr took me off work for up to 6 weeks. I’m grateful I get the chance to heal, but kind of freaked out about it too. And the paperwork, whew! But my boss has been AMAZING and so incredibly supportive. I am grateful for where I work that I can take the time to heal and not have to stress about other stuff. I want to say grateful again, but I’ve said it too many times already, lol. But I truly, truly am.

So I had a week until my next Dr appt and in that time I made an appt for PT and was able to get in to see her 3 times before then. She does an evaluation and gets a feeling for what’s going on and her evaluation definitely tells her I have a pinched nerve. I still can’t believe how easily she was able to lower my right arm, lol. I had a hard time describing my symptoms at that moment due to the blinding headache I had, but she got the gist of what’s going on and I saw her 2 days later for our first real appt.

PT was both amazing and different (and harder!) than I expected. I’ve done PT at least 3 other times in my life and it’s always been hands on manipulation and sorting out the bones and muscles with massage, heat and a few other things. This time, she showed me some exercises that I need to do. She said that I use the stabilizer muscles in my neck and shoulder blade instead of the big muscles that are supposed to be used. (I forgot what those were called. But like I don’t use my trapezius in my shoulder blade and whatever the big muscle in your neck is called – those kinds of big muscles). And my stabilizer muscles aren’t cut out for that kind of work. So she gave me a couple of exercises to work on at home (which I did) and when I saw her again, we went over them again and she added some more, this time I have an adorable tiny baby beachball as part of it, lol.

So PT is going reasonably well and I see my Dr again. Oh, I forgot that I got the official results from my xray and what it said sounded scary! “Moderate to severe degenerative… blah blah blah. So I’m anxious to see the Dr and have her explain that stuff to me. When I go in, we go over the results and she said there are a few concerning points in my neck that signal a potential herniated disc. And one of the things I didn’t understand meant “Bone spurs”. Like multiple ones. In my neck. 😦 Gah! So she is very concerned now. She said I likely won’t need surgery now (!!!) but it is VERY likely I will need it in the future. What?! OMG. She also wants to do an MRI. So she got everything started to get that going and took me off work for up to 3 months now. I’m hurt much worse than I though. I knew I had neck issues (for a long time now) but I had no idea it was so bad. 😦 She said to continue with PT and the meds and I see her again in 2 weeks.

I’ve been doing my exercises and seeing the PT and one of the times (after she added some more stuff) I started getting waves of muscle spasms in my neck. I saw my physical therapist 2 days later and we had to back way off from some of them. She said the prednisone is leaving my system now and some of the swelling that had gone down is probably back up, so we needed to go easier on the neck stuff. That seemed to work as the spasms have subsided. She also taped me up 2 times and MAN that was lovely! It offers some decent support and I really liked it! The first time I was ify, but the second time I wanted more after I had to remove it LOL.

So inbetween those times I get a phone call from a Dr office. It was the Clinic saying insurance has approved the MRI and would I like to schedule it? I was like wow that was fast (only took 2 days I think, crazy) and she was all you wanna hear fast? I have a cancellation at 4:15, do you want to come in today? (This was at like 3:30, on Wednesday the 24th). So I was all, uhhhh, I guess? lol So off I go to get an MRI. Not thinking anything of it. Don asks if I want him there and I was all nah I’ll be fine. It’s no big deal, I know loads of people who have gotten MRI’s.

So this is my very first MRI ( looking at my cervical spine). And I hope it is my LAST!! I am not claustrophobic at all, but HOLY COW is that thing scary!! I had my arms squished in to my side and I had ear plugs in and it was still LOUD and cramped and ridiculously scary!! And I had to be in there for 30 minutes!! I had no idea it took so long. Oh my gosh the noise! I closed my eyes and did my slow deep(ish) breathing and tried to go to my happy place, lol. I was pretty shook up when it was done. I am so glad that I didn’t know anything before hand or had time to look in to it at all. I wasn’t nervous going in to it and I did’nt have time to think about it or get nervous. WHEW! Now I know I’ll be all kinds of nervous next time, but at least I didn’t know this time, lol. So I’m glad that is over and they said they’d have the radiologist read it on Thursday (my bday, heh) or Friday and my Dr will get results Friday or early next week. I haven’t heard anything yet, but I assume some time next week.

So there is my tale. If you made it to the end, I am impressed! I’ll give you a hug next time I see you (assuming I know who all reads this, hehe).

Thank you all for being patient with me as I’m not on here very much (my PC time is very limited and I’m using my left hand for doing a lot of stuff). I don’t even hover over my phone much as that hurts my neck too. But I do think of you guys and Don keeps me in the loop with many of you.

Love you guys!! Take good care and I will talk to you all as much as I can!

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